Japanese Lanterns, moms, and mac & Cheese
by Miss.Lena.Salvatore.TVD
Summary: Renesmee is the physical age of eleven and ready to have a sleepover with Jacob when Edward and Bella go to Alaska to visit family. Mac & cheese, songs, stories, naps. What could go wrong? Well, Renesmee could say something about Jacob's mother and get him upset? They could have a japanese funeral for Sarah? A story of love, family, and friendship


"Jacob, are you sure? If anything happens to her, I will hurt you." Edward promised.

Bella grabbed his arm and gave him a disapproving look. I laughed.

"Edward." She scolded in her new silky vampire voice.

I'll never get used to the idea of my best friend being a vampire. Never. My brain just can't process the thought, even though I knew it was coming. My life before Nessie seems like a nightmare. I remember it, but I don't feel like I lived it. It was all a bad dream.

"Jakey? Where's momma and daddy going?" My angel asked curiously.

I could feel a smile tugging at my lips. "Momma and dad are going on a trip to see aunt Tanya and Aunt Carmen. In Alaska, remember then? They'll be gone for two days so you're going to stay with me."

She pursed her lips and scrunched up her nose and forehead in concentration. She was sinking it all in. My heart melted.

"Okay. Bye momma, bye daddy. Jake, can we go to your house?"

We all laughed but Bella also looked sad. "So anxious to get rid of us, are we? Well, then. Goodbye."

She leaned down and placed a kiss on Nessie's cheek as Edward kissed Nessie's forehead. Bella stroked her cheek once and they were gone. Nessie immediately climbed into my lap and wrapped her arms and legs around me.

"Jake, can you make me mac & cheese? That's my favorite." She said.

"Why, of course, Miss Cullen." I did my best at a British accent. She giggled, so I guess it worked.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I frowned as Nessie yawned in boredom.

I leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose. "I'm sorry Nessie. It's almost done, I promise. And we'll do something fun after you eat."

She smiled brightly. "Can we check to see if it's done?"

I laughed and picked her up, setting her on the counter. She looked into the pot of macaroni & cheese. I put the spoon into it, stirred it a little, and threw a piece of macaroni at the ceiling. It stuck.

I laughed and Nessie soon joined in. "See, you know it's done when it sticks to the ceiling. Got it?"

She nodded seriously. I poured her a bowl and fed it to her, even though she knows how to eat/ A part of me just doesn't want her to grow up, though.

After she ate, I told her some stories from when I was around her age. She enjoyed every one of them.

So did I, till she asked about my mom and what happened to her. Why she isn't around. She's met Billy. And my sisters, Rebecca and Rachel. She's also met my grandma and my cousins. But she didn't even know my mother's name.

"What happened to your mommy?" She asked innocently.

It took me a moment to answer. "Nessie...I don't like to talk about her. All you need to know is she died and her name was Sarah."

Her face fell and I hated to see her so upset. I sighed and buried my face in my hands. When she put her small hands on mine I looked up and sighed.

"Fine. I'll tell you stuff here and there but an entire day of talking about her, I don't think I can do. You want to know something? She used to love to build forts out of cushions, pillows, and blankets."

She gave me a tight lipped smile and I smiled back. Her eyes had starts in them. They were filled with mischief and curiosity. She nodded, signaling me to go on. So I did.

"We would have sleepover parties. The entire family. Every weekend because on the weekend was when my mom didn't go to work and when my grandma, Seth, Leah, Quil, and Embry would come over."

I smiled at the memory. As I thought back, I realized I missed Seth. And Leah, surprisingly. Embry, Quil. My grams. My family in general.

Nessie urged me to go on.

I sighed and ran my fingers through her copper red hair, twisting and bouncing her curls. "So, where are we sleeping tonight? The big house, your house, or my house?"

"Can we sleep at your house, Jacob?" Her voice fluttered.

"Of course. Billy and Rachel are going to be there."

"Yay! I like Rachel, she's nice to me. Billy tells me lots of stories."

"I know he does. He's very nice to you. He loves you, you know. My whole family does." I laughed.

She swung her legs back and forth and gave me a toothy grin. "Momma says everybody loves me."

"No one more than me, though."

She had a look of consideration on her face for a moment. "Yeah, I know."

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

And we were off to my house. When I opened the door I was greeted by Rachel. She hugged me tightly and picked Nessie up and swung her, placing her on her side.

"So, how long are you guys staying?"

"Why, you have a date?" I questioned jokingly.

She playfully punched me in the shoulder. "No. Paul is coming over though."

"No, he's not. Ness and I came here for a family night, not to sit around like we did at her house."

Rachel looked down at the half vampire, half human in her arms. I could see her considering canceling her date with Paul.

But my attention turned to Nessie when she began to whimper. She had already fallen asleep in my sister's arms. I, out of natural instinct, reached for my girl. Rach handed her to me and I rocked her back and forth.

I pet her hair and attempted to wake her up gently. She just whimpered and began to cry into my shoulder, where her head lay. I ran upstairs and into my room. I laid her down on my bed and she began to squirm.

"Oh, Ness. I'm sorry. I'll lay with you, okay?"

I snuggled under the covers with her and wrapped my arms tightly around my girl. She wrapped an arm tightly around my arm. I don't know when, but at some point I fell asleep. I wasn't even tired, though I guess it was the rainy smell of her hair or her steady breath, the rhyme of her heartbeat.

"Jacob? Jake? Jake?" I heard her bell like voice ringing through my ears some hours later.

I groaned, still half asleep. "Yes?"

"Can we have a sleepover party with your mom and dad tonight?"

My eyes snapped open. "My mother...is dead, Nessie. Stop...talking about her!"

The half vampire immediately cowered and I noticed how angry I got. And for no good reason whatsoever.

I reached out for her but she just quickly scooted to the other side of my bed. I frowned. Never in my life have I yelled at or said no to Renesmee Cullen. I literally felt like crying for only the third time in my life.

I slowly reached out for her again and this time she whimpered in fear. "Nessie, I'm sorry. Baby girl, I didn't mean to yell at you."

"I know. I'm sorry my Jacob. I promise I won't tell daddy you yelled at me. I don't want him to hurt you." She whispered so I could barely hear her.

I could sense that she was still scared of me. I wanted nothing more than to comfort her. Tell her that I wouldn't yell at her ever again. But how do you comfort someone when you're what they're afraid of?

She hopped off the bed and ran out the room. I went after her and was relieved that she just went to say goodbye to Rachel and Rebecca, who were leaving for their double date.

For the rest of the night, she ignored me. She only talked to me, or even looked at me, when she asked for food and was tired and needed to be carried to bed.

Dinner also got quite awkward. For the first time, I didn't want to eat Rachel's food. Nessie dug right in, though. I knew I was a baby, but my reason for living was _afraid _of me. I can't live happily like that.

"Excuse me." I said getting up.

I jogged outside onto the porch and surprisingly Nessie followed. She wrapped her arms around my leg and laid her head on my hip. I welcomed the gesture carefully, just in case she was still upset. And she was. But not angry upset. Sad upset.

I panicked when her body began to shake as she sobbed her tiny heart out. I picked her up and held her tightly.

I kissed her head. "Oh, Ness, don't cry. Baby girl, I'm sorry I yelled at you. I really am. Please, please, forgive me."

"Of course, my Jacob." I chuckled at my new found nickname. "But...you scared me. And I should say sorry because I keep asking about your mom."

I thought for a moment. My dad and sisters miss my mom as much as I do. We never really had a ceremony for her. A real goodbye, or farewell.

"you know what? I got an idea. Tonight you, Rebecca, Rachel, Billy, and I will have a sleepover in the living room like you wanted." I stated.

"Really? Like you used to have with your mom?"

I smiled. "Yes, just like my mom used to. And then tomorrow if it's okay with your parents you can come with my family and I to say goodbye to her."

Her smile brightened even more. "Okay. I love you, my Jacob."

"I love you too, Ness."

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

"Shit." I muttered as I hit my head on the "ceiling" of our blankets and pillows fort.

"Jacob!" Nessie scolded.

I rolled my eyes and laughed. Rebecca and and dad joined in too. Rachel didn't like cursing either, though. We had to make the fort extra big to fit Billy's wheelchair fit. But that didn't mean it was big enough for me. Or Rebecca and Rachel for that matter. But I would do anything to make Nessie happy.

Billy poked Nessie's side, earning a giggle that brought a smile to all of us. "Do you even know what the F word is?" He questioned.

I gave him a look. He ignored it anyway.

"Yes!" She protested. "Fish." She said triumphantly.

I burst out laughing. "Who told you that, pretty girl?"

She pressed her lips into a tight line which just made her look even more like Bella. "Uncle Emmett."

I rolled my eyes. "Figures. So, what are we going to do now that we're all in here?"

We ended up doing pretty much nothing. We told stories, sang songs, ate snacks, played games, and eventually Ness fell asleep in my arms. I slept with my sisters and Ness piled on top of me and Billy leaning on me.

The next morning, as promised, Bella and Edward arrived around eleven. Billy invited them in and they politely accepted. I lopped down on the couch next to Edward.

"Hey, um, Edward? My family and I are going to say goodbye to my mom and were wondering if Ness could come."

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "What time?"

Rachel answered from her spot in the kitchen with Bella. "We'll be leaving at eight. We'll be back by nine thirty."

Edward glanced at Bella and eyed me warily. "I guess it's alright. On one condition of course."

"We get to come with you." Bella added.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I had come to the graveyard with my family. Bella and Edward were going to meet us here. I got out of the car and jogged towards my favorite person in the world. I picked Nessie up and twirled her and my arms. When she reached out for Edward I handed her over reluctantly.

Then I noticed the black bag Edward held.

"What's that?"

"This? Japanese lanterns. To send our love to your mother. You'll see."

Bella sniffled. "I remember Sarah. Such a saint, so nice. Very beautiful too."

Edward patted my shoulder. "You act so strong but I can bet ten bucks you'll cry."

I chuckled. "You're on..._dad_."

He rolled his eyes. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bella, Ness, and Billy lighting the last of the lanterns. They were huge. I went to stand beside Bella and Ness reached out of Bella's arms and kissed my forehead.

Bella laughed lightly. "Aww, that's so nice of you, Renesmee."

Bella then reached around Nessie and kissed my cheek. Both girls wrapped their arms around me.

Bella stepped forward.

"Sarah. I hardly remember you. But my dad says you were quite the catch. I believe him. I remember your apple pie. It was...awesome. You were my mom's best friend. A second mom to me. I guess...I kind of miss you too. Bye, Aunt Sarah."

My father began to silently cry and I held onto Nessie tighter. Bella lifted her lantern and it flew up. Then Rebecca stepped forward.

"Hey, mom. I don't have much to say. I regret not listening to you the night you crashed and going to the store with Jake instead. I'm sorry. I promise to take care of Billy, Rachel, and Jake. Love you."

She place the beaded bracelet she got from my mom when she was younger on the lantern and let it fly. Rachel stepped up next.

"Hey, mom. Uh, I'm sorry I got an abortion. I know that was supposed to be your first grandchild. Sorry. Uh...I wanted you to know that I'm happy with Paul. He's the one!I'm not leaving again. I promise to take care of the family too. I miss you. Love you."

She did the same as the rest and I looked down at my lantern.

"you want to go next?" Bella whispered.

My voice broke. "No."

We all looked around waiting for someone to get up. Billy wheeled forward with help from Rachel.

He stared up at the sky.

"Hey, Honey. I just want to say thank you for giving me these three wonderful children. For helping me take care of them the first few rough years. For loving me. I love you so, so much. Hold onto that. I miss you, but everything that's happened has happened for a reason. I may not have imprinted but I know your my soul mate, Sarah. Goodbye, Sweetheart."

I hugged Nessie tighter and actually began to cry.

"Don't worry, Jacob. I promise I won't ever leave you. Ever." Ness whispered into my ear.

I looked down at her in surprise and kissed her hair. "Thank you." I murmured.

Her eyes twinkled with love. "I'll go next, so you don't have to, Jake."

I smiled gratefully. She held her lantern out and began.

"I don't know who you are. But I know you're Jacob's mommy. So, that means you're like my mommy. Cuz my mommy said Jacob's my other half and I'm half of him. It's nice to finally meet you, Sarah. Jake talks about you lots. I love you. T was nice meeting you. See you around."

She ran into my arms and I hugged her tightly. I sniffled and sobbed into her hair as I stepped forward. My girl was amazing. It was amazing that at the age of eleven she understood my pain. Every inch of it and she was ready to shield me from it and comfort me the whole way.

"Hey, momma." I started. "I miss you. Dad says you're watching over us. SO if you really are, if you're really listening, then I want you to know that I'm okay. I know when you first died I was in uh...suicidal shape...but now I'm okay. Kind of. I have two families now. The Cullens and the Blacks. The Cullens treat me like one of them. And I am."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I have Renesmee. And as long as I have her I'll be okay. I'm only just starting to heal from life. But I'm going to be okay, mom. And if anything ever happens to me, all I ask is for you to watch and protect her with all you've got. I love you, momma. Thank you for helping god bring Renesmee to me. I guess...miracles do happen. You would've liked her."

After that, We all began to sing 'Angel by Sarah McLachlan. Even me. Even Bella and Edward. Nessie started it, of course.

That night I dreamed of Ness and my mom meeting. They loved each other. They were best friends. Then I woke up.


End file.
